Crafting the Schizophrenic Way

Are you bored of your regular craft routine? Same old repetitive project getting you down?

Well, never fear, my friend… vonwoof is here to save you from your orderly crafting monotony. “Crafting the Schizophrenic Way” is sure to throw a spanner in the works of your well-oiled crafting machine! Watch and learn…*

Firstly, set yourself something really big to accomplish. A throw rug? Too small! Think bigger!!! Make sure it’s something really expensive, and make sure you embark on your project BEFORE purchasing all your wool. That way you’re guaranteed hours of entertainment pleading with kmart to get about a billion balls in for your special project from, say… Wentworthville…


Then, once your living room is completely covered with hundreds of balls of very expensive alpaca wool, change tack! Set yourself a new, equally huge project. For example, stitching toys for christmas craft markets…

orange and purple monster_9_sml

Are you excited yet? Can you hear your apathy running shrieking from the building? Good.

Now, pay attention. Here’s where it gets REALLY fun. Get overwhelmed with christmas spirit. Start dreaming of sugar plum fairies. And sleigh bells. And pudding!

Mmm. Pudding.

xmas puddings_4_sml

And (what the hey! It’s christmas!) throw in one really scary snowman for good measure. One who looks like he might hunt you down in your sleep and kill you.

Now, take all your projects, lay them out on the couch, and repeat. Preferably in a random order.

*Side-effects may include hand cramping, hot flushes, wool burn and alienated partners.

~ by Niccola on November 10, 2009.

2 Responses to “Crafting the Schizophrenic Way”

  1. there is such a thing as wool burn? oh my… love your throw rug btw – very cool.

    • I might have made the wool burn bit up.
      ; )
      One of these days that throw rug will grow to become a bedspread, but I suspect it’s going to take a while…

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